Remembering Dad, 5 of 6

This is day 5 of my writing one year ago as my father awaited death.

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8/30/10, 4:30pm

Grand Canyon

Hello Friends,

 I was here with him again today. The big change – his eyes were no longer tracking with me. Even up through yesterday, I felt that he was looking at me or that he could track as I moved around the room. Not now.

 Each day, I find myself looking for what is new, or what has changed. But each day I continue to talk to him and do the things that I believe he might like.

 I’m also grateful for a good friend at church who came to sit with him while I went for a lunch break. Again the reminder, God has designed us to need each other.

 Hospice also came today. He has now been transferred to Hospice Care. Part of that is the hospital and billing designation. But it also means that a new team of “end of life” specialists will be offering us assistance. I did find them to be very kind and helpful. I have no doubt that they will keep him as comfortable as possible.

 I read to him today from the Psalms. Here’s a piece of Psalm 31.

 Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eyes grow weak with sorrow, my soul and my body with grief.

My life is consumed by anguish, and my years by groaning;

my strength fails because of my affliction,  and my bones grow weak.

But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.”

My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me.

Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.

Mercy is a beautiful thing. When anguish fills us so deeply, God’s mercy wells up to meet that with unfailing love.

I don’t know how much more time dad has. But I have been blessed to have these days with him.

Patiently waiting,

Brian