Remembering Dad, 1 of 6

One year ago, I was at the hospital with my father.  It would end up being six days leading to his death following complications from Parkinson’s Disease.  I was at his bedside for most of those hours preceding his home-going.

Each day, I wrote an email that went out to friends and family about that day.  So I have decided to “re-broadcast” those emails one year later as a memorial to Dad.  Many people told me that it helped them understand the death process and how to care for a loved one at that pivotal moment.  Here’s the first day at the hospital.

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8/26/10, noon

Hi Friends,

Dad while he lived at his home dealing with Parkinson's

For those of you just catching up, Archie is in the hospital from his adult family home. He arrived last night and they determined that he has a bowel obstruction.

Just got done in consult with surgeon and internist – his two primary docs. The surgeon gave the theories about what might be happening in his small intestine. I don’t pretend to know all the terms, but it is basically either an infection, loss of blood flow to intestine, or narrowing of the intestinal wall due to disease. This all boils down to two options. Wait and see if it gets better or do surgery now. Both have pros and cons.

I was pleased that the doctors allowed us to remove the suction tube from his throat so that he could talk. His speech was not very clear, but we were able to get yes or no answers to simple questions. And his decisions matched the paperwork he filled out a number of years ago.

If he has surgery, he will be on a ventilator for at least a number of days and perhaps a number of weeks. Archie clearly said he did not want this. They are also saying that if his kidneys continue to function poorly, he may need dialysis. He clearly said he did not want this either.

All this to say, he has opted for no surgery now and just to wait to see if the obstruction responds to the antibiotics. If it is predominantly an infection, this would be the prudent choice. If he does opt for surgery, he faces quite an uphill battle during recovery. He went through this once with his hip and is not sure he wants to sign up for more.

I am very pleased with the careful way that the doctors listened to us. I am also pleased that this is what my father has chosen. Parkinson’s Disease has stolen a lot from him already.

I will be here at the hospital today. I’ll send e-mails as further decisions are made.

I cherish each of you and greatly appreciate your prayers for me and Archie.

In Christ,

Brian

Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed (Job 14:5)